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Okay,
what do you think? I’d like to hear your comments, solve
your problems and answer your questions. Contact me Monti@
By the way, I’m not available, as I could not break the
heart of my husband of 29 years.
#3 Las Vegas Bugle - December 19, 2003
Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy holidays to you all. The
Desert Diva, herself, wants to spread (no, not that you
trashy minded readers) good cheer to all. May the New Year
bring ME health, love and wealth. And, if my pipe dream
comes true, I’ll share it with you! Now that I got all
that BS out of the way, it’s time to get down (careful) to
serious business and bring you up-to-date on the latest
happenings.
On second thoughts that seemed harsh, this is not me at all.
But I get frustrated (don’t we all) at this time of year.
It started a couple of weeks ago. Santa’s friends must
have thought I’ve been pretty naughty (I’m sure not as
bad as many of you) because I was only able to fill my car
(The Rock mobile) once with gifts. I expect more and deserve
it! Okay, let’s try again to get down to business…
Two former wives of one-time heartthrob and crooner Eddie
Fisher will be appearing here for the New Year’s holiday.
Debbie Reynolds and Connie Stevens will be performing Dec.
29-31 at the Orleans and Suncoast hotels, respectively. You
can be sure that Fisher won’t be anywhere in sight. Both
ladies who had children via one of Hollywood’s all-time
sexual episodes leaders (he claims the mark in his book,
“Been There, Done Her,” excuse me “Been There, Done
That”), have little else to say about him. Fisher was also
married to Elizabeth Taylor, but then, wasn’t everybody.
Rather than ask the stars’ thoughts of Fisher, let me
share a description written by Toronto Star writer Jim
Slotek: “At a stiffly moving 71, looking very much like a
little old Hollywood icon in winter with his jet-black hair,
ill-fitting jacket and gold chain, the sight of Eddie Fisher
makes you think, “This guy had a thousand women?’ But in
the ‘50s, when his nickname was Sonny Boy (after the
song), he was, by his accounts and others, catnip to women
and a world-class cad.” I’d be willing to bet Reynolds
and Stevens would agree! I’d also be willing to bet that
some of you know some queens that also fit that description.
There’s some serious shit going around in showbiz that’s
ripping me apart. Topping the list is the fact that Paris
Hilton is being offered another television show. Doesn’t
anyone watch what she’s on now? It’s fine until she
opens her mouth. And, she’s so skinny, there’s nothing
to grab on to. There’s no doubt in my mind she never had
to wear a training bra!
Then there’s the multi-talented Gwyneth Paltrow. I
remember growing up with my Puerto Rican mother begging me
to get married and give her a grandchild. Yeh, really.
Paltrow gets pregnant and then marries, which may be the
ultimate test drive. Mom would never understand another
Hollywood scenario. Christian Slater’s wife allegedly hits
the actor on the head with a drinking glass, but won’t
face domestic violence charges. She must be a real pleasure
at other times.
Finally, there’s the story we’ve been anticipating:
Whitney Houston has become a battered wife after her
husband, singer Bobby Brown, was formally charged with
beating her in the couple’s home in a posh Atlanta suburb.
Now that’s a big surprise.
All of these things make headlines and I can’t get
arrested. After all, I am the Norma Desmond (there are
plenty of queens reading this column who know who she was)
of Las Vegas columnists. I’m always waiting for my next
scene, but not one alternative producer/director comes
(okay, they do) asking…Did you know that the real name of
the former Vanilla Ice is Rob Van Winkle? Don’t laugh,
it’s a serious problem…Yes, it’s true. Frank Marino is
still celebrating his 40th birthday. He took my advice and
milked it for all its worth before the wrinkles and crow’s
eyes appear.
Forty-year show business veteran, 57-year-old Liza Minnelli,
loves the opportunity to finally do comedy that’s not
based on her life. Liza, whom I love and adore, told the
Associated Press that appearing on the “Arrested
Development” sitcom “is wacky; the maddest thing I’ve
ever seen. I’m having such fun doing it because I’m
finally allowed to use my comic ability.”
She also said that she’s fine with dating younger men; has
her own line of lipstick, lip gloss and false eyelashes, and
is proud that the ads for the products call her a beauty
icon. She also offered to slap some eyelashes on the writer,
but
Great news. I hear that Tommy “The Shlong” Lee is a
Desert Diva fan. You may not believe it – and you’re not
going to find out – but Tommy and I have some physical
similarities: we’re both cut from the same cloth…Let me
offer a great dining hint. Before going to see “Zumanity,”
go get a great piece of meat at Gallagher’s. If you
don’t find something you like, there’s always the meat
rack at Gipsy’s…If you’re lucky to get invited (e-mail
with your request and I’ll personally select a couple of
winners), Karen Hamilton will be hosting a party for me at
Whimsy Blue Gallery. Those attending will have the
opportunity to see me in my holiday best. Darlings, I just
blend with the season as The Snow Queen!
#4 - Las Vegas Bugle - January 4, 2004
This is your Desert Diva wishing you all a Happy New Year!!!
Your Diva has been to so many events, parties, and openings
that it is like a blizzard of invites and people. My holiday
party, hosted by Paige O’Hara, was at the Whimsy Blue
Gallery, with entertainment supplied by Erik the Artist. The
English Garden, Diane and David Filter, did all the flowers
and decorations. One of the outstanding guests was Elva
Pacheco, who was one of the greatest showgirls of the
original Latin Quarter in NYC. She relocated to Las Vegas
recently, and her son, who is a fabulous psychic with movie
star looks-and Roxanne Miller, a real estate mogul, and the
other usual suspects.
The hotels were very generous this year with their gift
baskets and other earthly delights. I would like to thank
everyone for their kindness and generosity at this time of
the year. Bless you all.
In the Dueling Diva’s category-the wonderful Kenny
Kerr-who is actually Don Rickles in a dress-did a one night
at Flex, but now is almost ready to sign a big deal-stay
tuned, darlings!!!
Over at the Aladdin, David Saxe and Jon Stewart – who
are the producers of Ovation – are mud slinging, cat
fighting, and hair pulling-and these guys are NOT even
gay!!! Ha-ha – what is the world coming to???????? The
bitch fights are on!!! Stay tuned dearies…
For those who want to know, for years, as Disco Tex and
the Sex-lettes, I was the opening act for the Fifth
Dimension. They used to fire me at least once a month-over
my (blush!) language &*%$! But, didn’t we all??? Those
were the seventies, darlings, and things were oh, so
fabulous, fast and GAY!!!
What is wrong with Nicole Richie – Lionel Richie’s
daughter? Lionel, please talk to your daughter – she is
coming off like an airhead. She is being sucked in by that
Paris “bored to the” Hilton gal – come on, I could
have been a Hilton, too, just read my book... and read
between the lines! There are actually two other Hiltons,
Bebe and Eric, are the parents and truly elegant, of the
true heirs apparent.
Hoorah!!! Sandy Murphy is finally going to Piero’s!!
Better late than never... I saw her lawyer at an opening
recently... what a class act!!!!!! What a gorgeous older
gentleman!
One of the parties that I was invited to was at the
Spanish Hills estate of Bill Hockett and his wonderful
partner, Jack... there was Mr. Breck Wall, discussing Jack
Ruby and the Kennedy assassination... still interesting and
fascinating, even after all these years! Also, at this party
were designers, decorators and some of the beautiful people.
Larry Edwards, who play Tina Turner in La Cage, has lost 50
paunds!!! Jimmy Emerson had a private party – and the La
Cage crew and cast had a wigging out ball!!
I had a great time talking with Sasha Renee at the
Bugle’s holiday party... he’s a bright young thing who
will go far... trust me, he’ll be a big star one day!!
Am I the only one who finds the anchor weatherman of KVBC-TV,
John Fredericks, sexy?? He loves animals, too…..
On the club scene-we have all these T & A clubs
open... we have Shadow at Caesar’s Palace, Tabu at the
MGM, Light at Bellagio, but the winner and all time champ is
Drai’s at the Barbary Coast... all that leopard makes me
feel right at home!!! One has to wonder if the hotels and
corporations are ready for alternative lifestyle clubs... we
are here-ready and waiting… and divine, as well… my
darlings…
Zumanity – the first show to push the envelope in a big
way with a major production – it is still being
fine-tuned…
#5 - Las Vegas Bugle - January
24, 2004
The New Year has been all about me, and I deserve it.
I’m really feeling “witty, pretty and gay.” I’m
really very fortunate as I never have to cook for my Bruce.
Night after night (lunch, too) I’m invited to the finest
of food places to dine by candlelight and have a doggie bag
to take home. Honestly, I know some people do it under
duress as your Desert Diva threatens to name names of those
still hiding in the cupboard. My new friend, fellow fag Tim
Santora, runs Sunshine Pickles and I just adore the
company’s slogan: “Eat me, I’m crunchy!” That’s
what I think of now every time I perform my wifely duties.
It’s obvious that Lionel Richie has no control over his
daughters. Otherwise Paris Hilton’s running mate
wouldn’t go on national television proclaiming she’d
like to sleep with Coby Bryant. Raise your hands if you
would like to do the same…Did you know that Tina Turner
lost 50 pounds? Well, it’s actually Larry Edwards who
plays Tina in “La Cage” …Sheena Easton is the diva
bitch. The “Vegas Live!” co-host sure doesn’t mince
words when speaking about fellow females performers. By the
way, I did the show, it was fantastic…We get to hear the
latest tragedies of life when Connie Francis comes
performing here Jan. 23-24…I’ve become an Adult
Superstores aficionado. I educate myself by renting videos
of all gay and lesbian subjects. When you want to know more,
visit Tony Valenzuela and tell him Monti sent you.
I loved “Dragapella” when it played the Westin and I
really believe it deserves a home here…Our mainstream
link, Steven Cojocaru, has departed People magazine to focus
on a television career. Please, please e-mail and write the
magazine editor that the Desert Diva deserves the chance to
trash breeders…Two alternative cruises are on the horizon:
k.d. lang will give two performances this summer on a
special cruise presented by lesbian-themes travel company,
Olivia. The Boston-to-Montreal cruise is July 3-10, and will
follow a mass wedding ceremony in Boston. The lesbian
honeymoon cruise will have up to 1,200 passengers…Rosie
O’Donnell’s latest effort is billed as “the first gay
cruise with family values.” During the cruise, which
departs New York for the Bahamas on July 11, gay and lesbian
passengers will be able to learn about topics like adoption
and artificial insemination. Now, that says it all.
I read that the former Tammy Faye Bakker of “The PTL
Club” fame hosted a “drag bingo” event to raise money
for an AIDS service organization in North Carolina. The AP
story said that about 15 drag queens participated in the
event. I’m wondering if that included Tammy…Our gay icon
Britney Spears sure made a mockery of our beloved city and
the sanctuary of marriage with her Vegas quickie wedding.
What disturbs me the most is that the vows made headlines
around the world. I’m wondering if the same attention
would have been given to a lesbian or gay couple saying
their vows of real love?
Shocking news from Indonesia: two men kissing on a movie
screen. A film centering on an architect’s eventual coming
out as a gay man features the locked lips. But, the movie is
not being billed as a gay film, but rather as an examination
of a group of 30-something professionals in
Jakarta…Speaking of movies, I’ve heard it all now. A
role in “Miss Cast Away,” that would have been ideal for
me, was given to Michael Jackson. He plays a force sent by
the pope (how many of us yell “oh, God” when we feel a
force) in a beam of light to dispense wisdom to a group of
beauty pageant contestants who crash-land on a deserted
island. I could have easily done that plus all their hair
and makeup!
That “Las Vegas” television series cutie pie Josh
Duhamel just paid $1.5 million for a Los Angeles home. Can
you imagine what he would have gotten here for that price
plus I’m sure he could have had daily maid service for
free…TV hunk Tony Danza will be in Las Vegas at the end of
the month pedaling his new talk-show. I hear he gets uptight
when he’s around our kind, which I don’t understand as I
know we would treat him with kid gloves…In the “you have
to begin somewhere” department: In Montreal, two grade
seven girls were “encouraged to leave their school after
they were caught charging money for a public kissing session
in the school cafeteria. The 12-year-olds charged boys $5 to
watch the lunch-hour show. If they stay at it, they should
move here where they’ll probably get $200 a crack.
I’m hearing reports that the bellman who escorted Britney
Spears down the aisle was more interested in her
“husband” than Britney…Do you have the look of a gay
movie star? Ang Lee will direct a feature film based on the
passionate get short stories ever written, “Brokeback
Mountain.” I’m wondering which of the screen’s
Hollywood hunks will sign up to play Jack Twist and Ennis
Del Mar, two Montana cowboys who hide their passionate
emotional relationship for others for 25 years. I’m
definitely not right for the roles as I haven’t hidden
anything ever…I also hear that Rufus Wainwright and
newcomer Eric Himan are competing for top cute queer rocker.
What about me? Remember, I was Disco Tex, the head queer of
the time.?
#6 LAS VEGAS BUGLE- January
29, 2004
Last week my Rock-mobile drove to a Hollywood meeting –
brainstorming – lunching – and, darlings, dinner parties
to die for!!! I call it deal a meal….. The first that I
encountered was Marquee with the titles of Debbie Reynolds
and John Saxon in ‘Love Letters’. Where has John been?
The other big surprise was melba Moore (remember her from
Purlie and Timbuctoo – when I saw her perform with Eartha
Kit) Now she has Melba Moore- The One Woman Show….. I
think she can find a home here in Vegas.
One of the most interesting dinner parties that I
attended - my hostess Jody Russell Viali- had a Spanish
Mexican dinner soiree. The most interesting guest was Lorna
Luft and her husband Colin. She informed me that the show
“The Songs My Mother Taught Me” was going to London for
six months. We kept chatting about Liza, Liza, Liza and her
what’s his name??? Oops David. It seems David went to
their apartment and cleaned it out except for her Warhol
painting. I just love these juicy gossip bits – stay tuned
for more morsels.
Getting back, I heard the story about Jon Stewart. Jon is
now the CEO of Ovation. A big corporate takeover - stay
tuned
At the Golden Nugget the amazing Jonathan opens this
Friday and they have Martin Nievera. Don’t forget the
Flamingo has George Wallace. George Wallace has the 10
o’clock slot in the showroom – to me, it still remains
to be proven – you know that Jerry Seinfeld had George as
the best man at his wedding… they were roommates many
years ago.
Last Monday there was a very strange opening of a new TV
show done at OPM at Caesar’s Palace… Michael Paskevich
will use OPM as the home base of his new studio VTV until
one can be built. I got a call from Peter Altman who wants
to get me into CMX studio’s new film. Peter Altman is one
of my very first good friends in Las Vegas when I first
moved here several years ago. Of course, the big news about
town is Casino (which I auditioned for) has been shooting at
Tim Poster and Tom Breitling’s Golden Nugget. Many years
ago, Steve Wynn was the originator of the Golden Nugget.
The Steve Wyrick – Aladdin – is opening for press
with a brunch at Steve’s big mansion in town. Steve was a
guest on Dennis Bono’s show at Sam’s Town.
Happy Chinese New Year. To celebrate the occasion the
Crustacean Las Vegas/Prana Lounge will bring in the New Year
with special menus for all. The location is in the Desert
passage at The Aladin. The Desert Passage, soon to be
renamed, is beginning to show some positive results from the
takeover by Planet Hollywood. I originally had referred to
it as the Deserted Passage - but now it is beginning to come
to life again, Stay tuned.
The Cirque shows-Cirque this-Cirque that- it has been
announced- rumor has it that the Mirage is considering
putting a Cirque show in the Siegfried and Roy showroom. We
all know that the MGM is building one where the old EFX
theater was located….
Steve Wynn’s mega resort was originally going to be
called la Reve- but was renamed Wynn Las Vegas in honor of
Mr. Wynn.
We all know that the Sinatra estate, the Sammy Davis
estate and the Dean Martin estate are suing all the resorts
for copyright infringement. Rumor has it that Jeff Kutash is
staying at the Riviera- or someone who looks very much like
him is. Now Really!!!! Comebacks are a killer!!!
Is the Hilton sale final??? Do we all remember David
Cassidy – David who was a teenie bopper heartthrob
(Partridge Family) and was the star of EFX at the MGM in
addition to At The Copa at The Rio also produced Sammy Frank
and Friends - is living quietly in Fort Lauderdale. He just
put out a new CD and will be touring this summer.
That’s all, so get ready for Bette Midler on
Valentine’s Day and another appearance by Britney Spears
in the near future. The big news is that Jerry Lewis is out
of Rehab having shed 50 lbs and his addiction to steroidal
medication. Rumor has it that he will perform at the
Orleans, but wants 3/4 of the house for personal guests,
friends and family,,,, He did sign a lifetime contract with
them a while back, but come to think of it so did I…
This weekend marks the opening of the new Clint Holmes
Show- he revamped his act and has new songs- Clint who does
Vegas live! with Sheena Easton every weekday morning has a
full plate. He is even doing the Epicurean Awards at Green
Valley Ranch.
Over at The Westin Casuarina- which is a gem of a hotel-
when David Brenner takes his vacation in April, Paul Reder
and Richard Super are bringing an extraordinary show- stay
tuned.
The wonderful, divine, Anita Mann the producer and
director of Midnight Fantasy was in town this week to revamp
the show at Luxor. Over at Mandalay Bay, the number one show
Mamma Mia is also revamping the cast. The show is a sellout
every night. At Caesar’s Palace, the staff and crews are
getting ready for Sir Elton John’s opening. This will be a
major event!!
Super Bowl week- Super Bowl parties- a former New England
Patriots cheerleader Stephanie Galloway who was the gal for
their cheerleading swimsuit calendar is now head of
Streaming Video Inc., a group that creates videos for
web-sites. The Pats are the 7 point favorites in this
year’s game let’s see who makes the right plays and gets
the Super Bowl rings. Whatever the outcome, I hope that your
favorite team wins!!
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